Because They Danced…

Marriage. I was recently asked to give a toast about this very subject and for the life of me I could not come up with a single thing. At first I thought it was because I’m terrified to speak in public, but it was just my family; then I thought maybe it was because I didn’t have time to prepare, but I had plenty of time and 40 years to look back on (well technically 35 of my own years); and then I thought it was because Marriage is just not a good subject for ME to talk about, I’m simply not good at it. Whatever the reason, I fell short and I was unable to tell two of the most important people in my life how very significant their 40 years of marriage is to me and to many.

My parents celebrated 40 years married yesterday and even though I wished them congratulations, helped throw them a surprise party and raised my glass to them as my brother spoke and recited how he couldn’t wait to follow in their footsteps, I was without words.

My parents, like most if not all married couples, have been through thick and thin, good times and bad, trying times and easier times, but what sets them apart from many, is that they would do it all over again as long as they were together. There were times when I didn’t know how they would make it through the storm(s) of raising my brother and I (mostly me) and times when I would wonder how they were ever not together in their lives, but one thing I never doubted was their love for one another.

At the party yesterday one of my cousins asked my dad how they did it, how they made it all these years still intact. My dad’s answer was simple and perfect…we worked on it every day, every single day and…We Dance.

That statement was more true and more definitive then I think anyone in that room could ever know. Growing up I remember good times and bad times but the details of what made those times good and the bad have faded in my memory, however, my parents dancing never, ever will, and that memory is what makes me believe in true love.

It began before they were even married and into our childhood. They went dancing every Friday night, left us with sitters (some fantastic, some questionable) and sometimes although it wasn’t always easy, they made it a point to go together. Even as recently as this weekend, you ask what they did on Saturday night and my dad will proudly tell you they cleared the living room and danced all night. Growing up when we would attend weddings people would come up to me and tell me how amazing they were on the dance floor and how cool it was to watch them. I’d just smile shyly and say “yeah, I know”, but the truth is, they were, and still are amazing, because when they’re out there the only thing that matters is each other.

No matter how tough, no matter how bumpy or crazy life got, no matter how insane my Dad’s driving was or how uncontrollable my Mom’s reaction to it was, or whether there was a birth of a new grandchild or death of a loved one, they would always come back to their foundation and the love they share, and have shared through it all because of the foundation they built many years ago together.

When I see my parents holding hands after all these years, I can’t help but smile as it confirms that a love like that still exists and I’m very lucky to have witnessed and continue to witness it today. I’m so proud to be their daughter and so happy to be able to celebrate 40 years of marriage with them, and even though I froze yesterday, I hope that these words today can give justice to an amazing accomplishment and an amazing couple. Congrats you guys, we love you and because of you…

I will always believe in love because at the end of the party when all the cake is gone and the celebration comes to an end real love will last forever ….because they danced.

mom&dad

Happy 40th Anniversary Mom & Dad!

Once Upon a Decade…

an Angel was born…                                 

How time flys – from the moment you entered my life, the world that I knew was rocked.  I had been blessed with the most beautiful rose, hands so small and eyes so big.  Never did I think I could love so much, never did I believe this tiny little person would change my ways, my heart and my path.  From first words to first grade, everything you have done and will do is extraordinarily out of this universe special. 

My life will forever be altered and I will be eternally grateful.  Although I knew from the beginning I would never be able to give you the world (as much as I want to) and I could never promise perfection, today I give you whats in my heart. 

As we celebrate your TENTH birthday, I make to you the same promises  that I made ten years ago…

I promise…

To always be there, no matter how trivial, nothing is too small;

To be your biggest cheerleader in all that you dream of, work toward and accomplish, and a shoulder for the times you may fall short only to tell you to shake it off and keep trying. 

To allow you space to make friends, lose friends and be a best friend;

To never lose faith in who you are or what you can do;

To listen, discuss, debate, agree and disagree (which I’m sure will happen A LOT) with you;

To be your mom (you may not like it sometimes, but one day you will understand – I promise);

To step back and watch you grow up;

To let go a little bit at a time  (with boundaries of course) no matter how difficult; and

To love you (THIS MUCH infinity) unconditionally forever and always…

I promise.

Happy 10th Birthday Sweet Pea, I love you!

CLICK OFF!!

I am a true believer in fighting for what is important to you.  I would fight to the death for my children, my family and my life, but each one of these battles, would be fought out of love.  I believe any battle, including the fight for equal rights, should be fought for reasons that would bring hope, health and happiness.  Apparently, I’m naive because this is what I thought everyone was fighting for—love and peace.  Sadly, I am mistaken, and apparently other’s happiness and destroying it, is more important to more people than I would like to believe.

I can’t seem to understand this, because unless or until it directly affects your life in a negative way, is it any of your concern how fellow human beings around you live their lives?  It utterly amazes me how many people complain about insignificant, futile things that will never affect them unless they throw themselves into the mix by spewing lies and hatred, and then hiding behind their religious, or other, beliefs.

Don’t get me wrong, if I see an injustice made upon an innocent person or a child I would intervene.  If something affected my life or my family in a negative way, I would vehemently voice my opinion, but my whole intention would be for the greater good, not my own personal agenda and absolutely not for the fact that I don’t like it, just because, arguing my side with no basis for my reasoning whatsoever.

There are other ways to deal with people, things and events that you don’t like, for example…

I don’t like reality shows that pay money to rich famewhores and punk kids that do nothing but make fools out of themselves for our entertainment and their back pockets.  Do you know what I do about it? – I change the channel.  I simply DON’T WATCH THEM;  however, I have friends that are reality junkies, and just because they may disagree with me, they will always be my friends.

I don’t like spinach. How do I handle it when the disgusting dish ends up on my plate? Yep, that’s right, I DON’T EAT IT;  however, my son loves spinach, but do I tell him, he’s bad for it?  NO. My love for him is unconditional.

I don’t like hairy men in speedos (I don’t like any man in speedos).  Guess what? I DON’T LOOK;  however, Um, I don’t know if anybody likes this.

I don’t like minivans, I will never own one, but I’m not going to hate my neighbors or my friends for driving one. 

I’m not fond of swimming in a lake, but if I am faced with the murky water with freaky fish I can’t see, I will make friends with it, and I may not love it, but I will accept the unknown and DEAL WITH IT because I don’t want to live standing on the pier wishing I could just let go and jump in.

  I can go on and on about things I just don’t care for, because I have opinions about pretty much everything, but they’re MY opinions.  I have no right to tell other people to join my club of distaste and threaten them that if they don’t they will be alienated from the normal.  HAHA.  Sounds like a bully, popular kid on the playground teasing the outcast to de-pants another outcast to become part of the “cool” crowd.  I would laugh in my own face if I tried to do that. 

Tragedy, heartache and pain are not prejudice, and neither is Love, so basically, I have no right to tell someone else how to live, love, laugh or cry.  I have no right to define what it is that is important to someone else, and not important to others.  In turn, YOU or anyone else have absolutely no right to tell ME how to live my life.  So, I’ll make all the haters a deal, I won’t tell you that your house is ugly, your ugly, your beliefs are ridiculous and your kids are out of control (I won’t even waive when you pass by) if you keep you hatred and bigoted ideas to yourself.  Deal?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.

 From what I understand, we are all born into this world at the least possessing a heart (although questionable at times) and we all have choices.  We can love with the heart we are blessed with, accept the things we don’t understand, change things for the good, and go about our own lives, happily. Or, we can hate, judge, criticize and strip other people of their happiness, all along missing out on the life we could’ve had, only to look back when we’re old, grey and nobody likes us, and wonder why.

 So, for those who seem to have all kinds of time on their hands that they spend it attempting to sabotage other people’s happiness either out of jealousy or some convoluted idea of what’s “right”, get your own life and make it “right”, because its quite obvious that its lacking in something. 

 My suggestion…find your own happiness, and if you don’t like my suggestion, my life, or this post…

 CLICK OFF!!

                                                                                                                        lmj©2010