When I Grow Up I Wanna….Ummm

What to do when I grow up – that is a question I still ask myself at 36 years old. It was and sometimes still is something I could never truly put my finger on, however, I believe I’m slowly getting closer to the answer.  My problem is that I am what you would call a Jack of All Trades, Master of None, I love everything but can’t quite master any of it. I call it my own personal ADD. For as long as I can remember I have been struggling to find that one thing I love to do  more than anything, and when I say “thing” I mean career/hobby, but unfortunately in my search, most of these “things” turn into whims.

Outside of my full-time job (the job I have to pay the bills but would much rather poke my eyes out) I am constantly trying to find my reason, my definition, what it is that I want to dedicate myself to and share, hoping that “thing” would turn out to be something that could support my family or at least something that would stick. I’ve tried everything, I painted, I wanted to go back to school, even got the application and sent away for information (I just didn’t know what I wanted to study), I took classes on dog training, I trained dogs, I worked in and wrote about dog rescue, I wrote a “book” about myself, I tried self-publishing stories about my kids, I blogged, I even took up running and working out (which to my utter surprise turns out I love) and most recently I’m apparently going to sell houses and the list just goes on.

ImageThis journey is like one of those books we had as kids where you would get to a certain point and be given a chance to choose your ending. How cool is that, except I would pick Ending B, get to the end and be discouraged by my choice so I would then go back and choose Ending A, finish the story and wish there was an Ending C. I was never satisfied. I was and still am always looking for that WoW factor, that holy-crap-this-is-what-I-want-to-do-for-the-rest-of-my-life factor. Every time I thought I found it I would be hit with the reality of all the work that had to go into doing something for the rest of your life, wonder if I really loved it that much and then be on to the next thing.

Not until I discovered my love of writing did I almost settle in, but as I said in my recent post “Time”, I didn’t put the work in and I gave up. I did learn though that writing for me is one of those “things” that as soon as I take the time to sit and let the words come out, the WOW never goes away. When I’m in my writing mind and I get a thought in my head, it becomes an addiction. My car begins to fill up with notebooks, napkins, pads of paper and receipts all scribbled with jibberish and although I know what it all means in the moment, I’m truly lucky to make it out when I sit down to decipher it. The process takes over and if I can’t put on paper what is in my head I feel as if I’m in a tailspin. It’s crazy but calming and for once I felt content.

I never thought I could find anything else I would enjoy as much as I did when I would take my chaotic thoughts and make them coherent. I never thought anything else could compare, that is, until I was introduced to the fine art of coaching volleyball. ADD…I told you. This one is different though and if I could write and coach full-time, that is what I would do for the rest of my life, absolutely no question. Even though my first year was a little bumpy and a somewhat intimidating, unlike the rest of my adventures I never wanted to quit once and the thought of The-Rest-Of-My-Life is not exhausting but exciting. Wouldn’t you know it, just like writing my love for the sport of volleyball never went away.

I finally found the WOW factor again and maybe I’m not totally done looking for what I want to do when I grow up, but I do hope I have the opportunity to coach for as long as I am able. My advice for all those out there with a little ADD and feel as if they will never find their WOW, keep looking, try everything – I recently read a quote from Jim Carrey that kinda stuck with me “you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love”. Don’t be afraid to try it all, and when you do find the WOW don’t ever give up on it.


 **On a side note, stay tuned because I have a whole other set of opinions on the subject of kids’ sports, parents, why I love coaching and why I continue to do it… I thought politics was bad — Take teenage drama, parent drama, cost and competition, stir ‘em all together and the explosive fun that ensues is incredibly memorable and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Sissifying the Game

As we have all heard, this past week in football there has been drama, meetings, scandals and fines and the opinions about it all have come in on both sides of the fence.   For me, I don’t really care who Favre showed his privates to or the fact that a two-year punter felt the need to swim in a canal, with no shirt, and actually say he didn’t remember how much he drank, because he was drunk. 

Although these were very “special” moments in sports history, I would like to discuss the fact that it has come to my attention that pretty soon, we’re going to be watching a bunch of grown men running around pulling flags from each other’s pants on Sundays.  Of course, I am referring to the ridiculous fines being implemented on players just doing their jobs.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not wish harm on any player in football, but let them do their jobs!  Stopping the opposing team from scoring is what they get paid to do, and paid ALOT, I might add. 

I do have to say when I first heard about the $75,000 helmet hit, I didn’t think much of it because I did not see the game.  It wasn’t until I learned that these fines are delved out even if it wasn’t consider a penalty, which Harrison’s was not, did I start to pay more attention.   What The?!  So let me get this straight, if a player, doing what he gets paid to do, tackles an opposing player “inappropriately”  as deemed by the NFL, a penalty may not be forthcoming but a fine will. 

I guess I just don’t understand how a game like football can be played without a few bumps, bruises and bang-ups.  Intentionally hitting a player in an uncalled for  manner, and being penalized for it, I agree with, but come on already, unintentionally, it happens.  These guys are 300+ lbs running at speeds us couch potatoes can’t even think about, how can we expect them to stop mid-tackle, scope out their target area to make sure its “appropriate” and adjust.   My dogs can’t even do it, and their only 70 lbs.  Usually, they are very agile, but I can’t tell you how my times they’ve slammed themselves into something because they were focused on the task at hand (being the first one to the tennis ball).

Ok so here’s my questions, if its ok to fine for an unpenalized hit, how about this?  If the defense is playing hard and sacking the quarterback so many times, they give him a concussion, instead of tagging the defensive players how about fining the offensive line for NOT DOING THEIR JOBS! 

Millions people, these guys get paid millions and maybe to them 75k is not a whole lot, but its taking the game out football because you can’t tell me it doesn’t mess with the players’ minds.   This keeps up, like it or not, the jobs they get paid to do won’t get done to the best of their ability, and the game they are out there to play is gonna be sissified.  I don’t know about you, even as much as I love the game, that’s not something I’m interested in watching.